


Ashes and Sand

by prototyping



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, General, Prompt Fic, and touch on the kid/doofus that vanitas still is deep down, at least in this 'verse, but it's my trash AU ship so you know, platonic, take it as you like, wanted to try something different
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 20:37:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9018583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prototyping/pseuds/prototyping
Summary: They meant something to each other once. Maybe she still does.You never know unless you try. Kairi, Vanitas. AU.





	

The tide was calm tonight.

There wasn’t a speck in the navy sky aside from the moon, which shone bright on the gently rolling waters and white sand. Kairi stood just above the shoreline, watching it rise, recede, rise, recede, ever a few inches short of reaching her sneakers. The warm breeze picked back up, making her smile as she looked out over the ocean again. She loved summer nights.

Even on the rare occasion that she was alone, like now, the beach seemed to provide company in the soft sound of its waves and familiar salty-sweet smell. She stood there on the sand for a while, counting each new crest of foam that broke over the moonlit surface. When the waters grew even calmer, she let her attention wander further up the shore towards the pier, where a glimpse of color caught her eye. Moving closer, she discovered a couple plastic buckets and shovels -- toys left out by some of the younger kids, no doubt. A few feet over were a few crumpled mounds of washed up sand, the remains of building endeavors from earlier in the day.

It brought back a lot of memories. Her smile widening, Kairi got down on her knees -- the sand still held some heat from the daytime sun and felt nice against her skin -- and picked up the smaller of the two buckets, a shade of glaring pink. Despite all the time she spent on this beach, it had been years since she last built a sandcastle. Sora and Riku had become more competitive as they grew older, taking an interest in things like racing and sparring over old childish pastimes, and Kairi followed suit.

Even so, as she began to shovel sand into the pail using the side of her hand, she found that she hadn’t forgotten what she knew. It was pretty dry this far up, so she slipped out of her shoes, moved down to the water, and filled up both buckets to cart some back up to her building site. With the sand now thoroughly moistened, she knelt down again and began to work, taking her time with no particular vision in mind. After about ten minutes, she had three of four walls erected; after twenty, two small buildings were in place and the castle’s foundation was marked out.

She kept building, right up until she suddenly had the feeling she was being watched.

Hers was the kind of town where everybody knew everybody, where it wasn’t a big deal if you left your windows open overnight or your doors unlocked while you went out to dinner. A small community meant a tightly knit community. So when she felt eyes on her back, she felt safe enough that she didn’t immediately look up. Only when it lingered for half a minute did she decide it couldn’t have been somebody just passing by.

Without preamble, Kairi raised her head and looked up the hill towards the road. For a few seconds she saw no one -- and then she noticed one shade of black that stood out from the shadows around it. For an instant she thought it was Sora -- but only for an instant, and then her eyebrows rose as her shoulders tightened a bit in surprise.

He knew he’d been seen, but the figure didn’t look away or move on. He met her stare without budging, prompting a brief pause in which Kairi wasn’t sure what to do. She couldn’t read his expression at this distance, but she would have expected him to disregard her by now, to turn away and forget her as he always did… So why was he lingering there?

Whatever the reason, there was only one way to greet an old friend. She raised a hand high to wave widely at him. “Hey!” she called. “Vanitas!”

When he still didn’t react, Kairi cupped her hands around her mouth. “What’re you doing up there? C’mere!” She saw him shift his weight, leaning back on a heel as though contemplating the benefits of just ignoring her, after all. Rising higher on her knees, she waved again, this time with a beckoning gesture.

He tilted his head sharply, perhaps cracking his neck, but then both surprised and pleased her by making his way towards the worn dirt path that led down to the sand. He took his time with it, but less than a minute later Vanitas stepped into conversational distance. Like usual, he wore his favorite black-and-red jacket despite the warm temperature, with equally black jeans and boots finishing off his nearly monochrome color scheme. He was the only person on the island who had managed to dodge the effects of the sun, somehow, his pale skin a sharp contrast to his dark clothes. His golden eyes were bright as they scanned Kairi briefly, skeptically, and moonlight glinted off the numerous piercings in his left ear as he turned his head to eye her castle-in-progress.

“Hey,” she greeted brightly, as though the air between them wasn’t suddenly thick with his signature hauteur and disdain. “What’re you doing out so late?”

“More than playing by myself on the beach,” he remarked, cocking an eyebrow as he turned back to her. It was an expression Sora had never -- _would_ never -- come close to wearing, making the irony of their identical appearances all the more evident. But Kairi was long past the point of being surprised by the brothers’ blatant differences, and too far above petty remarks meant to insult her, so she just continued to smile as she went on packing sand into her bucket.

“Well, you’re here,” she pointed out. “So I’m not by myself anymore, am I?” She heard him exhale, too sharp to be casual but too light to be a fully committed sneer. “How’ve you been?” she went on.

“...Same. Not like anything changes here.”

Kairi stopped and glanced up at him. _You did,_ she wanted to say, but she resisted. Bringing up the past too quickly was a sure way of chasing him off; and while she certainly hadn’t enjoyed his company the last dozen times she found herself in it, the air around him was a little different tonight -- distracted, but relaxed. Still condescending, still coldly nonchalant, but it wasn’t aimed directly at her for once, or so it seemed. She was willing to take a chance.

So she only hummed in acknowledgement as she created another bucket-shaped mound. “Well, I don’t see you and Sora together as much these days. Everything okay?”

“He’d tell you if it wasn’t,” Vanitas grunted. As dismissive as the comment was, it was also true. He had never been one for smalltalk, so that angle was a bad one to try. He’d already brushed off her curiosity about why he was out here, too, so there wasn’t much else to try and talk about.

Well, that was fine. Kairi could work with that. Dusting her hands free of sand, she held both out towards him. “Help me up?” she implored cheerfully.

He stared at her for several seconds, the kind of controlled look that somehow managed to be equal parts blank and annoyed. When she didn’t back down, he finally rolled his eyes and halfheartedly took hold of her fingers.

\--Only for Kairi to latch on tight and give an unexpectedly hard tug. Caught off guard, Vanitas hit his knees beside her and immediately grimaced, although she couldn’t tell whether it was at her or the damp sand clinging to his jeans. Either way, she let go of him to resume her castle-building, now with a slightly smug shade to her sweet smile.

“Since you’re down here, why don’t you help?”

“What.”

She ignored the skepticism and passed him the larger pail, a blindingly neon green color. “You remember how it works, right? It’s best if you add water--”

“I know how to do it,” he snapped. Despite that claim, he made no move to take the offensively bright bucket, but regarded it just as sourly as he did her.

“Oh, yeah?” Straightening up with her hands on her hips -- and not caring, unlike him, that she was scattering sand over her blouse and skirt -- she looked him straight in the eye and cocked her head indicatively. “Prove it.”

Such a challenge would have tempted Sora in a heartbeat, Riku in two. The way Vanitas’ eyes narrowed suggested he shared that competitive streak with his brother, but his scoff a moment later said he had more discipline. “I’m sure that works on them,” he remarked, guessing her train of thought. He shifted as he spoke, but it was only to sit down properly on the sand, not get up and leave. That was a good sign. “Sorry, Princess, my pride ain’t that fragile.”

“Then it shouldn’t kill you to have some fun,” she countered, ignoring the nickname he’d chosen for her somewhere along the line. She scooped more sand into her own bucket. Vanitas watched in silence as she upended the pail to make another mound, refilled it, and repeated. After making a straight row of six, she began to form a larger pile behind it using only her hands. More granules gathered under her fingernails, but she didn’t notice.

“Ten bucks,” said Vanitas suddenly. Surprised, Kairi stopped mid-motion to look at him. “Ten bucks says I can make somethin’ to put your little princess castle to shame,” he clarified. His expression was still closed, his tone deadpan, but Kairi had the feeling this wasn’t about money. Not entirely, anyway.

She smiled widely enough for both of them. “Should I let you catch up first?”

“No.” That response was surprisingly short. She’d expected something snide, but Vanitas seemed content to turn down the handicap and leave it at that. Snatching up the green pail, he went down to the shoreline and soon returned with half a gallon of seawater. He chose a patch of sand a few feet over from hers and upended the bucket, pouring the water in a wide circle that spiraled inward to a middle point. Kairi watched as he settled on his knees and… actually started filling his pail with the newly wet sand. It only took him a few seconds to notice that he was being watched, at which point he shot her a glare. “What?”

“Nothing.” She quickly looked back to her own task -- but unwilling to exchange silence for productivity, she asked, “So how long’s it been? Since you hung out on the beach?”

“Me? Or me ‘n Sora?”

“Either.”

This time he didn’t respond for nearly half a minute. Despite his reluctance in joining her, she noticed in the few glances she stole that he was precise and patient in his movements. Simple though the actions were, his hands moved with purpose. “Grew up on this beach,” he said finally, in the kind of voice that would normally accompany a shrug. His shoulders, however, remained decidedly slack. “Not like I didn’t get plenty of it as a kid.”

There was a pause as Kairi retreated down to the water to refill her bucket. As she resumed her seat a moment later, she pointed out, “That’s what’s nice about it, though, you know? Having a place that’s full of those memories. Somewhere you can always go back to.”

“Or a place you’re stuck in.”

She didn’t hide her stare this time, but Vanitas either didn’t notice or didn’t care. He was preoccupied with building onto a pillar of sand that was already as high as his chin. His sentiment was neither strange nor unheard of; everybody she knew, herself included, had dreamt of bigger cities and wider skylines at some point or another. This was just the first time she’d ever heard Vanitas voice it. Since middle school, he’d seemed determine to shoulder his way through life with as much indifference, attitude, and skepticism as possible. Whether he did that here or anywhere else, well… she hadn’t thought he was picky.

Or maybe she was overthinking it. Maybe he was just being his usual sarcastic self.

“Maybe,” she acknowledged quietly. “But it’s better than having no place to go.”

They worked in silence after that. Kairi really hadn’t been planning anything special in her design: just a simple, rounded castle with lots of towers, a moat, and a few small cubes that served as buildings within the court. It had been a while since she’d endeavored to build a sandcastle on her own, but that was all right. It let her add a few girly touches that Sora and Riku would have been sure to override: heart patterns in the walls, soft edges, and--

“What is _that?_ ” Vanitas asked, breaking her concentration.

Kairi smiled as she placed her pot-bellied sand creature in front of the recently crafted gate. One leg was shorter than the rest, so it stood at an angle, but she was otherwise proud of how it had come out. “A unicorn.”

“Who has a unicorn in their court,” he muttered, as if this were common sense. His creation, in contrast, was a scene of tall spirals and sharp corners. It was a tall castle, one that started wide at its base and narrowed into a twisted, creative mess of points. It wouldn’t stand up to the types of crazy, intricate creations in the annual summer contest, but there was definitely an artistic touch to it. Attention, care, detail -- things Kairi thought he didn’t bother to have anymore.

Rather than answer, she scooped up another handful of wet sand and started molding. A couple minutes later, she leaned over to set her new addition below his crooked staircase. “You do, now,” she announced. “But it’s a battle unicorn -- see? He has scars. And his horn’s broken.”

Vanitas cocked an eyebrow at the chubby little horse, but didn’t remove it. He only snorted lightly, without amusement. “Not very useful anymore, then, is he?”

Kairi shrugged her skinny shoulders lightly. “I wouldn’t say that. There’s more to people than what they used to be. If his friends still care about him… that’s really what matters.”

With another grunt Vanitas drew his pocketknife from his jacket and flicked it open. “And if they don’t?” he suggested. He began to trace the knife tip around his tallest pillar, making a spiral pattern.

“...I think he should check with them before he assumes something like that,” she replied evenly. She was watching him now, not his hands. “He might be surprised by what he finds.”

He stopped, and this time he looked at her. She held his gaze with what she hoped was an open expression -- an invitation to talk -- and when he didn’t immediately turn away she dared to hope that he might just take it.

But then he only scoffed, although it was a softer sound than she would have predicted, coming from him. “Get your unicorn off my lawn,” he said. She smiled.

A few minutes later they both stood up and stepped back to observe their creations. Vanitas’ was definitely more original, she gave him credit there, but Kairi knew from a childhood of building sandcastles that her own would survive the weather for a few days longer than his. Hers had a wider foundation, more defenses.

“Pretty sure I win,” he said casually, crossing his arms loosely over his chest.

“ _I’m_ pretty sure your kingdom’s in a rough spot if an army attacks,” Kairi pointed out with a chuckle. “Where are your walls?”

“Maybe whoever lives there doesn’t need ‘em. Maybe he’s strong enough that an army wouldn’t bother him.”

“He’s got to sleep _some_ time, though.”

“That’s what grunts are for.”

Joining her hands behind her back, Kairi nudged him with her shoulder. “Then you better get busy. One unicorn isn’t going to do much.” She saw him smother a smile, instead offering a low snort as he turned away.

“Maybe some other time,” he dodged. Kairi translated his tone as an obvious _Or never._

She could have left it at that -- but her smile faded as she watched him begin to retreat, suddenly realizing how much she’d undeniably missed him the last few years. Sure, they saw each other at least once a day in passing, and he’d changed so much since their elementary days that she barely recognized him now, more than once shooting a hurtful remark in her direction… but then tonight happened. It kindled the old hope that her childhood friend wasn’t really gone, after all, even if he did his best to prove the contrary.

Kairi opened her mouth to call him back, but quickly closed it again. If talking hadn’t done anything to get him back in the past, she doubted it would work now. No… Vanitas wasn’t like Sora and Riku. He was quiet. He watched people despite claiming to hate them; as much as he kept to himself, his eyes were up and searching, observing, more often than they were down and inattentive. He may have chosen to ignore Kairi’s existence, but the feeling hadn’t been entirely mutual. She had paid attention. She could tell he spoke through actions more than words. Emotion was something to be expressed, not discussed.

So after a moment of considering that, and allowing him to take a few steps, Kairi quickly hurried to catch up--

\--and planted both hands against his back to shove him forward.

It caught him totally by surprise. Vanitas staggered, swearing under his breath as he tried to catch himself, but his hands were caught in his jacket pockets and he was too slow in trying to windmill himself back into balance. He toppled forward, face-first into Kairi’s sandcastle -- and when the walls around it caved in to bury him under a hill of damp sand, she couldn’t help breaking into bubbly laughter. He immediately thrashed and shoved himself up, but sand clung to his jacket, his hair, and the more he pushed at it, the more the stuff gave way and seemed determined to trap him in place.

Despite her efforts, Kairi was nearly doubled over in laughter. Finally, Vanitas rolled onto his back and sat up, but that only concentrated his weight in one place and made him sink further. Sympathetic, Kairi stepped forward and offered him a hand.

“Sorry,” she giggled. “But good thing your pride’s not fragile.”

He sneered up at her, but actually accepted the gesture and took solid hold of her hand. She leaned back on her heels to help pull him up, precariously trusting her weight to his -- which was a mistake. As soon as Vanitas made it up onto one knee, his grip tightened and he gave her a hard pull forward. Unlike her earlier joke, he didn’t just drop her into the sand -- he moved to intercept her, catching her stomach against his shoulder and _standing_ all in the blink of an eye. She gave a half-yelp, half-laugh of surprise, bracing herself in anticipation of being tossed into the same pile of ruined sandcastle -- but Vanitas suddenly pivoted, _away_ from their building site, to head down towards the water.

“H-Hey! Vanitas!” He ignored her. She kicked in protest, but he had a firm hold around her knees. She wasn’t going anywhere.

Unsurprisingly, being the beach kid that he still was at heart meant he was unafraid to -- literally -- get his feet wet. Vanitas trudged straight into the ankle-deep water, managing both their weights against the pull of the waves with the kind of easy balance that boasted his upbringing. He only stopped when it was above his knees, and then even he had to constantly adjust his weight with subtle movements to avoid being knocked over.

Kairi knew his intention. She grabbed two tight fistfuls of his jacket and held on, doing her best to hunker down against his shoulder and remain immovable. She wasn’t going down without a fight.

And then again, Vanitas surprised her by proving he hadn’t forgotten _every_ thing about their childhood: he shifted his hold and pinched her side, just under her ribs. It wasn’t exactly gentle, but it wasn’t meant to hurt, either, and it had its intended effect as Kairi flailed, a ticklish laugh escaping her throat before she could tell him to stop. Her grip slipped, and then without a second’s hesitation Vanitas pulled her forward and dumped her unceremoniously into the water.

It was conveniently timed, a small wave nearly knocking her over when she surfaced a second later. She wiped her sopping hair from her face and glared -- halfheartedly -- up at him, and the way he met it with a pointed look said he wasn’t intimidated by it in the least. When he backed away rather than offering to help her up, Kairi smacked an armful of water at him. He sidestepped it, but then stumbled as the sandbank pulled at him. Fully used to rough-housing with the other boys, Kairi lunged, throwing herself against his chest and knocking them both over with a splash.

 _“You--”_ Whatever insult Vanitas had come up with was drowned out as another wave washed over the two of them. When it receded, he spat and sputtered and generally made a scene, whereas Kairi only wiped her eyes clear of seawater as she climbed unhurriedly to her feet.

“You’ll live,” she started to say, but Vanitas was fast. In the second it took her hand to pass over her face, she felt an arm tighten around her middle and suddenly she pitched backwards, dragged down by his weight. He let go of her just as quickly, apparently content to retreat after dunking her again, but Kairi made a blind grab through the churning water and found his sleeve. She pulled him back as she pulled herself up with a laugh, and then put both hands on his head and shoved him back under the surface.

Even underwater he was quick to twist himself around, hard enough that she was dislodged off of him and knocked aside. She caught herself, somewhat, and landed on her butt rather than her side. In a blur Vanitas caught up with her. He found her wrists in a firm grip and pinned them in the sand, leaning over her and forcing her back until she had to struggle to keep her head above the water.

“You’re out of your league, Princess,” he drawled, made even more arrogant by having the upperhand. And yet the usual begrudging look on his face was, for the moment, gone: he wore a cocky smirk, but that still counted as a smile. His eyes were still narrow and calculating, but it was a challenging stare now.

He played a lot rougher than Sora -- but he was still playing.

Rather than responding -- crying uncle, like he expected -- Kairi relaxed and slipped back under the water. She felt his hold on her wrists tighten, probably expecting her to try and thrash her way out of it. Instead, she resurfaced slowly -- and spit a stream of water directly in his face.

It worked. He jerked back on reflex, cussing again, and she felt his fingers loosen up just enough to twist one of her arms free. She gave his chest a hard shove, pushing him the rest of the way off and giving herself just enough room to snake free and make a dash for shore. She was getting worn out and there was no way she could contend with him in a match of raw strength; better to retreat and end it on a draw.

She broke into a grin when loud splashing said he was right behind her. She sped up, stumbling a couple times, and hit the dry sand on hands and knees as soon as she reached it. Vanitas did the same beside her a second later. For a long minute their low panting was the only sound above the waves, even when they both rose and turned to sit on the ground proper. After that it was silence and stillness again, broken only when Vanitas peeled off his wet jacket and T-shirt.

Kairi didn’t mind the quiet this time. It didn’t feel as indifferent as before. Brief though they had been, she had caught a couple glimpses just now of the Vanitas she _used_ to know: the boy who was more levelheaded and quieter than Sora, but just as competitive and confident. A sidelong glance said he had settled right back into his typical air of disregard, but Kairi smiled to herself regardless. He wasn’t totally changed. Not really, deep down.

He caught her stare. “What’s so funny?” he asked, sounding as though he didn’t really care whether she answered or not.

Her wet hair stuck to her cheeks as she shook her head. “Nothing. I was just thinking… it wouldn’t hurt for you to do this more often.” When he didn’t reply for several long heartbeats, she added in a softer tone, “...I wish you would.”

Vanitas watched her impassively for an equally long pause, and then turned away as he ran a hand through his mess of hair to drag the water out of it. “What, you don’t have enough friends already?”

“That’s not the point,” she countered evenly. “None of them are you.”

He gave a low, guttural half-laugh. “And what’s so special about me?”

“Well… you tell me. Why are you so different from us that you had to distance yourself so much?”

“When did this turn into a therapy session?” That one came out with a slight snap to it, so Kairi didn’t push. But she did lean forward, trying to catch his eye, which he pretended not to notice. She touched his shoulder instead, an instinctive gesture more than anything else, and for some reason that made him tense -- jump, almost -- as he abruptly met her gaze again. Stranger than that was how… _open_ his suddenly looked, no longer dismissive or criticizing or even arrogant. There was something there, something familiar, but at the same time it was too unusual for her to place. When he didn’t look away, his bare shoulders remaining taut, she had the impression that there was a very distinct thought in his mind right then -- something he wasn’t saying.

Before she could try and ask, Vanitas broke the odd trance by standing up -- but Kairi noticed that he leaned away from her first, an unnecessary movement meant to shrug off her hand. “I’ll pass,” he said, sounding bored once more. Turning his back on her entirely, he grabbed his clothes and slung them over his shoulder -- and at this angle Kairi noticed how lean he was. From his shoulders to his hips, his back was traced with visible muscle. His arms, usually concealed by baggy sleeves, looked fit and strong.

It was expected from somebody like Sora or Riku, who spent so much of their time outdoors and running around -- but ever since Vanitas broke away from them, Kairi had just assumed he led a more laidback lifestyle. When did he take the time to stay in shape?

At precisely the wrong time, he glanced back and caught her staring. There had been nothing behind her observation other than curiosity, but she realized how it might seem and quickly looked away -- which only made it more convicting, most likely.

If Vanitas thought anything of it, he didn’t say so. It was a small mercy that kept her from feeling _too_ awkward about it, but she was nonetheless a bit disappointed when he started back up the hill, towards the road. Frowning, she watched him go.

She could have been honest right then, telling him she still wondered what had gone wrong in their four-way friendship. She could have admitted that she still thought about what could have been, that some small part of her regretted not trying hard enough, even felt guilty about having not been a good enough friend to make him stay.

Or she could have tried joking again. He had taken to her lighthearted remarks much better than her more personal attempts at conversation. Except… that would be no better than what he did, would it? Pretending she didn’t care.

He continued to retreat without so much as a glance back. Pretty soon he would be too far to hear her, unless she yelled after him.

Impulsively, Kairi called out. “Vanitas! Hang on!”

It took him a few more steps, but he finally stopped. He only turned his head slightly, a lazy indication that he was listening.

“I… Well -- you know -- the three of us are going out for lunch tomorrow,” she said quickly. “Why don’t you come with us? I’ll even pay for you,” she added, “since I owe you for the castle and all.”

Vanitas turned around fully this time, eying her skeptically. He seemed divided between curiosity and distrust. Kairi only held the stare patiently, smiling.

“...I eat more than ten bucks,” he warned.

She shrugged. “That’s fine.”

Even then he continued to watch her. Finally, he turned away again with an annoyed-sounding snort. “Maybe,” he muttered. It wasn’t very enthusiastic, but it was something.

“The Lucky Cat Café!” Kairi told him as he continued on his way. “Noon!”

This time he ignored her fully, but it wasn’t as disheartening as it once would have been. She let him go uninterrupted this time, doing her best to knock the sand from her clothes as she gathered up her shoes. She stacked the buckets and shovels together and placed them back by the pier.

 _Well… I tried,_ she thought to herself, also making her way towards the road. _The rest is up to him. For now._

Now there was nothing left to be done but go home, get a shower, climb into bed… and call Sora and Riku first thing in the morning to tell them that they were having lunch at the café.


End file.
